The Shepherds' Best Peacemaker
by The Chosen Storyteller
Summary: Sometimes, the biggest concerns of an army can be the internal conflict. When two lovers have a spat, who will you call to restore sanity? The son of the tactician, of course! Who else would be more suited? Although Gerome wants nothing to do with Inigo and Morgan's problem, he'll suffer bringing them back together if it means having a nice and peaceful night ever again.


I've had writer's block for an ungodly amount of time, which was really bad for me. I wanted to write some parodies for various video games (the lighthearted kind).

But even though I still kind of have a difficult time writing specific kinds of scenes like beginnings or calm conversations, I didn't want to let that stop me from writing a story.

I'm not really proud of this story. I don't ever think anything I write is good, true, but with this story I feel like I could have done better. I feel like...maybe I just wasn't in the mood because of the block? Hey, that's the only theory I got. I guess I'll have to settle for it. *Pouts*

As the label and my previous comment states, this is indeed a parody of over-dramatic romance that you might see in a modern day live action show or even in a cartoon with on-going continuity. I've long accepted the fact I'm a hopeless romantic, but even I feel awkward and annoyed if a romance plot is stretched out too long or the conflict isn't even a conflict. So...brace yourselves.

I may have exaggerated the characters somewhat for parody reasons. I'm just saying. If I ever wrote another story involving these characters I would tone it down a little. And I don't mean any offense whatsoever to the InigoXF!Morgan pairing because recently I've come to like it. =^_^=

At the end of the day, I hope you can excuse it if this story isn't that great. I'm just warning you so you don't stare blankly at your screen wondering what the actual fuck you just read. Just keep all my warnings in the back of your mind, okay? Let it soak in.

DISCLAIMER TIME – "My wallet claims I'm still poor, so I can't own Fire Emblem."

* * *

 _ **The Shepherds' Best Peacemaker**_

 _ **( A Fire Emblem fanfiction typed entirely by The Chosen Storyteller )**_

* * *

It was late in the night when the Shepherds finally established their camp.

Gerome already set up his tent when everyone else was stopping for a quick lunch. So he spent most of his day giving Minerva a much-needed fly around the land for the hell of it, and a bath. Now that all of that was finished, he retreated to his tent prepared to lie there and just stare at the ceiling until insomnia finally released its clutches on him. As most nights went.

Humming a random tune he remembered Cherche using one time, he closed his eyes-

" **I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!** "

" **HEAR ME OUT! IT WAS A COMPLETE COINCIDENCE!** "

" **YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO BE SEEN IN A PRIVATE MOMENT!** "

" **THAT IS A COMPLETE LIE, YOU LIAR!** "

Gerome's popped back open, flaring red. He knew it because he could feel the telltale pressure in them. That was a common occurrence whenever the only thing keeping him awake at night was some kind of ridiculous situation going on between some of the soldiers. In this case, he knew these voices.

Inigo sounded like a screeching maniac as usual, and Morgan sounded like a six year old with how her emotions didn't connect with her words.

The most logical thing Gerome could think of was to crawl out from beneath the pile of blankets, but then return in a similar fashion. This time, his head would be buried underneath. Hey, if that was what it would take to block out that horrific-

" **INIGO, IF WE EVER GOT MARRIED WE'D SEE EACH OTHER IN MUCH MORE KINKY SITUATIONS! TELL ME HONESTLY: HOW IS _THIS_ SO BAD?!**"

" **YOU ARE THE MOST INSENSITIVE PERSON IN THE WORLD IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S SO BAD! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TRANSLATE EVERYTHING!** "

" **DON'T YOU START TELLING ME I DON'T USE MY HEAD! YOU'RE SO MEAN!"**

" _Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop._ " Gerome threw the blankets aside when he heard a scream, and shoved his hands over his ears. " _I'm sure only good things could come from getting Minerva to create a gust of wind just forceful enough to knock those two to the ground on top of each other. Whatever they do on a nightly basis, I don't care, hurry up and kiss already!_ "

" **OH GODS, WILL YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!** "

" **WHY DOES THAT BOTHER YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN?! YOU MUST KNOW HOW HANDSOME YOU ARE IF YOU CAN FLASH YOUR SMILE AROUND CARELESSLY!** "

" **IT BOTHERS ME BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT'S UNDER THE CLOTHES! HOW WILL I GO TO SLEEP TONIGHT?!** "

" **HUMPH! HOW ABOUT IF YOU GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT A GOODNIGHT KISS?!** _ **GOODNIGHT**_ **!** "

" **MORGAN! THIS ISN'T GOING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM! DON'T BE STUPID!** "

" **UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT REALLY BOTHERS YOU, IT SHOULD! I'D SWEAR, BUT I DON'T KNOW A WORD OFFENSIVE ENOUGH TO DESCRIBE YOU!** "

" _Kill me now._ " Gerome buried his face into his arms on the ground, thinking that maybe if he wished it enough he'd die before having to wake up the next day and see all of that yelling made all the tree leaves fall and bury everyone.

What was even going on? As much as Gerome cared sooooo much about what his fellow soldiers were up to in their idiotic personal lives, that sounded like Inigo and Morgan were genuinely pissed off. Or...something similar to that. Even if they weren't completely outraged, Morgan definitely sounded more serious than he'd ever heard. His sister always went around with a goofy smile on her face, so everyone forgot she had more than one emotion.

As much as he wanted to think that this problem would end the next day, his throbbing ears hinted that even if those did kiss and make up he would never be able to restore his hearing.

Suddenly, he was more tired than he had been all week. With a groan, Gerome fell onto his back and let sleep consume him. If he could stay like that forever, he would be at his happiest.

* * *

Clearly, he slept later than he intended. A huge ray of sunlight seemed to burst through the crack in the tent flaps and tried to set Gerome's eyes aflame. He rolled over, kicking off two blankets in the process and buried his face into the pair of boots lying near his makeshift bed.

The only problem was that, as he reached out weakly and rubbed these boots to ensure his brain still registered touches after last night's destruction of the senses, he realized he had actually left his own boots in the upper corner of the tent with his clothes.

The grasps on the boots gradually slowed until they stopped entirely. Gerome's burning red eyes opened much more, and he looked upward.

A much more stoic form of Morgan's face greeted him. She slowly looked downward at him snuggling against her boots like this was the first time she noticed. "Wow, you're a heavy sleeper. I've been here for an hour."

Gerome's first reaction was to simply choke out an offended string of gibberish. When that was done he rushed to pull himself away from her and gather the blankets and pulled them all the way up to his jaw to preserve some form of modesty.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY TENT?!"

Morgan sniffed, and twirled a piece of her hair around her finger before opening her mouth-

"YOU CAN'T GIVE ME THAT 'I HAD A NIGHTMARE' CRAP! YOU MISSED OUT ON THAT BY TEN YEARS!"

"There's no need to shout!" Morgan began to sniffle, though with her there was less emotion behind it. "Anyway, I didn't know who else to talk to. I came so close to asking Father for help, but when I saw that there were other people in the area who could overhear I...I sort of gave up."

The sight of Morgan invading one's privacy and just sitting in their tent hugging her knees, well, that might bring some people to feel sorry for her.

Gerome wasn't going to conform.

"Morgan, you didn't care who heard you last night." Gerome didn't care if he'd bite through his teeth and all the way to his lips. Not at all. And despite watching Morgan cringe, he carried on irritably. "I remember hearing a certain argument that didn't make any sense, and it was so loud that I was able to sleep knowing we wouldn't be attacked in the middle of the night. **Nothing** would dare to cross our camp with that volume."

Listening to all of the rant, Morgan's face flushed and she actually had the sense to crawl away toward the exit and actually give him some personal space.

But Gerome wasn't done. Not at all. He remained in the tent's center, but used not having his mask as an advantage to **glare into her soul**.

"I don't care if there was any person in the right in that argument! The only advice I could possibly give you now would be a not-so-kind suggestion to act your damn age and throw yourself at that fool again! Go back to 'sneaking' around, swapping your saliva back and forth!"

Morgan was at a loss for words. **Good**. Her mouth kept opening and shutting, completely useless.

And then the most amazing thing happened.

Morgan gave him a disappointed look, and hurried to leave his tent.

" _She should know better than to ask me for help! If I can't work up the nerve to tell Lucina how I feel, then Morgan can suffer invading Inigo's privacy and scream all night in the worst way. That's life. Just because our parents had their brief moment of happiness with their 'soul mates', that doesn't mean we'll have the same fate._ "

* * *

Gerome carried on with his morning routine, attempting to salvage the sanity he may have kept after the original argument he heard. For now, the only thing he could do was dress quickly and wash his hands off after caressing those filthy boots of Morgan's.

Although his eyes still burned and a horrible throbbing began in his temples, Gerome didn't let that stop him from facing the sunlight outside. That mask didn't help, and at that point he wondered why he even put it on when he wasn't going to bother holding back on his emotions today.

If he saw either Morgan **again** or Inigo, he'd need an extra person to hold him back from wringing their neck.

There was only one thing he could do that would lower his stress by a small percentage. Although he didn't know if Minerva was up to it, but if she had a good night's sleep then she should be ready to fly again.

Yes, all he had to do was think about Minerva. Gerome tried to block out all other thoughts as he hurriedly walked past his fellow Shepherds like they were plagues. If he wanted to get to Minerva, he had to travel around the area where the campfire would be at night. Of course, this meant he also had to see Chrom and Robin lean against two trees babbling to each other.

" _Minerva will want to see me again. I know all of that yelling last night must have been hell for her, but she won't have to be upset any longer. If everything goes alright, I might-_ "

"Heeeey! Gerome!"

Gerome almost collided with another tree. Almost. Despite springing forward in shock, his mouth only slightly grazed the trunk.

How his mask hadn't caught on fire from his glaring, Gerome would never know. What he did know was that he hurriedly whirled to face a politely waving Chrom, and a sparkling form of Robin. There was no other way to describe his self-proclaimed father. The sunlight was bouncing off Robin, and causing these obnoxious flashes to hover around.

It would appear that the horrible greeting wasn't for fun. Robin insisted on throwing out and reeling in his arm in some kind of manner to either indicate a poison made him lose control of his limbs, or he wanted him to come closer. Gerome didn't want to, but he forced himself to storm over anyhow when Chrom began to signal like a normal person.

Gerome just sucked it up and kept his hands behind his back so no one would see them twitching and trying to form vulgar signs.

"Did you know that Inigo and Morgan got into a heated argument last night?" Chrom wasn't even hesitating. Up close, the dark rings under his eyes were visible.

Admittedly, Gerome spent a few extra seconds gawking at those rings. But he soon just...grunted before returning to gritting his teeth. If he didn't hold himself back, he would be scolding Chrom for something he couldn't even control. It wasn't his fault in the present time that Inigo from the future was screwed up.

"I heard parts of the argument when I was looking over the map. Now that map has a huge hole in it, and I'll never be able to restore what was lost." Apparently, Robin thought that information needed to be shared.

Gerome couldn't help but stare at Robin for a moment too, but mostly because up close the sparkles dimmed greatly. In the dimness of harsh reality, Robin had rings under his eyes too to match his bad case of bed hair. When Gerome looked a second time, he swore he saw his eye have a weird spasm as well.

"Hmm, well I had Morgan invade my tent this morning for life advice." Gerome looked down at his feet, eager to not see Chrom and Robin look so empathetic. Despite changing to mumbling, Gerome carried on. "I don't care about picking sides in that argument. If I had my way, the both of them would realize they're being worse than children about it."

"Morgan never came to me or Cherche about life advice." Robin suspiciously closed his eyes for a moment, probably like hell yeah there's a god out there sparing him. Briefly.

Suddenly, Chrom looked to Gerome very seriously. "After the argument, Lucina ran after Inigo to control the damage. But she couldn't get a word in because he was ranting mostly to himself. Early in the morning, Olivia and I both went to check on him...and...the sight we found was horrifying."

"I hope you two understand what kind of monstrosities you're going to bring into the world." Gerome mostly mumbled that to himself. He definitely wasn't referring to himself.

"It's a good thing you were walking around the area when you did!" Robin suddenly cut in, walking up to Gerome but...keeping a small distance as to not disturb him. "Gerome, I feel like it's my place to tell you that **everyone** needs you to talk some sense into Inigo."

"Not a chance."

"Gerome! You've had your adventures with my son before, and..." Chrom started out dramatic enough, but soon both his expression and tone faltered as he just shrugged. "Inigo is **difficult** to understand sometimes, but right now he needs to talk to someone who isn't going to hold back. You have a voice that's commanding enough to cut through his ranting. I imagine that dealing with a wyvern can make a person fearless."

Gerome felt his eye do some even stranger spasms in that moment. When he looked left and right at Chrom and Robin both wearing hopeful smiles, he huffed and walked away. He was even more pissed when he heard Robin say to Chrom "deep down, Gerome does care".

* * *

Upon arriving at Inigo's tent, Gerome was pleasantly surprised to notice that the area surrounding the tent was still in good shape. The grass and trees looked the same as before, the earth hadn't sunk into itself, and best of all **no sounds**.

Strangely, Gerome was starting to believe that Inigo was going to let go of his problems.

And then Gerome pulled aside the tent flaps and took a peek inside.

There were clothes, several pieces of bunched up soaked cloth, knick knacks, and books all over the ground. Well, most of the cloth pieces were located next to Inigo's makeshift bed- Anyhow, the knick knacks and books looked like they had been deliberately arranged around the makeshift bed. Kind of like an unhealthy ritual of sorts.

Inigo was laying atop the tangled mess of blankets, still dressed in his usual outfit all the way to the boots. He looked to be asleep, and the book that was open and awkwardly hanging off his chest implied that was what helped lull him to sleep. With one look at that display, Gerome didn't want to know what horrors his family had to see when they tried to cushion the emotional blow.

Gerome crawled inside the tent, groaning as quiet as he could considering it was hard to avoid his knees being stabbed by the useless items. He couldn't even be spared from accidentally getting one of the soaked cloths stuck to his palm for a moment. For the sake of preserving his sanity, Gerome just assumed that these were used to catch tears. Inigo tended to cry oceans, right? That made sense.

Yes, what he was doing could be considered snooping. But Gerome didn't care about morals, nope, he just wanted to get this over with so everyone could move on with life. When he was in a rare empty spot where all the books were positioned, Gerome looked over at the various book tiles. Things like **110 Ways To Shed That Winter Weight** didn't sound like books that anyone other than Morgan would read. And if he wasn't mistaken, he swore there was a flashback buried in the corner of his mind where he walked in a panicky Morgan reading that book and then immediately telling him that he should "leave right away because, UM, Lucina is bathing in a river nearby and you could totally catch her". It was a lie, but Gerome also would have lied if he claimed it didn't catch his attention.

Now that Gerome had a grasp on where these books came from, he assumed that all of the useless crap must have been some more gifts from Morgan. Anna and her sisters did noticeably brighten up when they saw her, now that he thought about it.

Gerome turned around, facing Inigo at that point. He leaned over as painful as possible, trying not to breathe on him as he reached for the book on his chest. It wasn't difficult to take the book, and Inigo only tossed to the other side of the mess in his sleep.

" _Damn it Inigo, you actually have something like this?_ "

The book in Gerome's hands was clearly made of a thicker material to protect it. He could tell from the fancy decorations on it that it was intended to be a journal, but when he opened it up it looked as if all the pages had been ripped out and some even had burnt marks like a fireball had done some of the work to speed up the process.

All it took was one twist to the side with the book wide open for the pressed pile of notes to fall and provide more of a mess to the ground.

In the position the notes fell, some were covering others. But of the ones Gerome could see and make out...well...

 **I love you, Inigo! I know I say it every time we eat breakfast together, but I can't stop myself! :D It feels so good to actually write it down! I hope you feel the same! I'll be thinking of you all day!**

 **-Morgan**

But there was also...

 **Happy birthday! It must suck to age past twenty, but you're still looking good for your age! But hey, you're going to look handsome even when you're gray-haired and experiencing back pain all the time!**

 **Seriously though, I hope you have a good day. I'm happy you're still alive, I'm alive, and the both of us can have each other to run to whenever we need to rant about how crazy the world can be. You need to keep moving no matter how many obstacles the world throws at you, Inigo. Because even if the both of us are separated somehow, I'd break reality just to see you again.**

 **I love you, and...I throw that around a lot I know...**

 **But I hope you believe it. Because I believe you love me just as much. That's my source of energy.**

 **-Morgan**

Gerome didn't have time to look through the rest of the notes because of a sudden shriek filling into the tent.

Before Gerome had the chance to turn around, a flash of blue hurled itself from the direction of the bedding to atop all of the useless items. Now, Inigo was on his hands and knees hovering over the rest of the notes with hurt eyes staring into his soul.

Call him paranoid, but Gerome couldn't help thinking that Inigo had caught him in the act.

"Morgan wants this stuff back, doesn't she? **Doesn't she**?" Inigo began huffing unnecessarily, leaning closer to Gerome's face clearly failing to hold back a new round of tears. "Why would she send you?! You can't understand what it feels like to be horribly embarrassed and heartbroken in the same night!"

"Actually-"

"I did try to burn some of it! I went through all the trouble to build a stupid fire, but...th-there was no I-I...!"

Gerome's eyes may have flew open for a moment, but he'd never admit to readying himself for the world to spontaneously go down in flames right then and there.

"I know it sounds pathetic, but I couldn't do it. Morgan gives me all these items that were probably taken off corpses, and she takes all the needed time out of her day to write these notes. I haven't given her anything, and the one time I do it's...!" Inigo thankfully shut up for a second, breaths coming out in a struggle as he lowered his head. "Can you stop interrogating me like this? I can't TELL you what I did give her; it's the cause of all this, and it's too embarrassing!"

"But I never asked, and I don't even care about-"

"If it ever happens to you and that annoying mask, you'll understand."

"Listen, Morgan wasn't the one to send me here. I was forced to do it because the whole army must have heard your argument, and we're all scared this will lead to more. We can't carry out our goals if your relationship issues keep holding us back!" By the end of his explanation, Gerome was shocked to find himself huffing now. The stress had been building. Now that Inigo was quiet, this seemed like the best time to go on. "Do you honestly want to keep yourself stuffed inside this tent all day? Do you think she will come around by herself and understand your point of view? Morgan is my sister, and even though I question how Robin and Cherche had the patience for her...unfortunately I know how she works. I know that Morgan comes off as insensitive, and she usually doesn't think before she talks! She's childish...over-excited...really... **really** obnoxious...and-"

"Morgan doesn't care about her flaws. Every smile she wears is sincere because she doesn't take all the world's problems on her shoulders. We could all die tomorrow, but she would stand right in the middle of the danger trying to win anyway." Inigo finally lifted his head, quickly brushing the corners of his eyes with a finger. "At the very beginning, I didn't know I could fall for someone like her. Then I followed her lead...everything made a lot more sense to me after I stopped thinking about **why** , and I just **accepted** it."

Gerome cringed away again, definitely bothered by the rather soft smile that unexpectedly appeared on Inigo's face. He was so used to seeing him look smug or at least...attempting to be confident. This was a real smile, wasn't it?

"But you can't tell Morgan I said any of that." Aaaaand the smile was gone by means of Inigo puffing out his cheeks to try and look serious as he restored uncomfortable proximity. Also, that was a totally a pout more than anything. "She's seen me in two unflattering states, and I don't want her to change her mind."

"How about if I do tell her?"

"WHAT?! You would come all this way to destroy my life?!"

The sight of Inigo squeezing the weight loss in his arms way too protectively as the pout on his face shattered and quickly replaced itself with horror, well, that triggered a strange thought in Gerome's mind.

It...it would mean that he would be admitting to having a blood relation with present day Robin. He didn't know if he was mentally prepared to do this now. Was the timing right?

Looking at Inigo though, Gerome realized how much he really hated his life. So...mmm hmm. This should have happened the very first second after that argument.

Gerome folded his arms across his chest, and looked over his shoulder as he felt his lips curve into a genuinely impish smile. **He would so drink later**.

If Inigo's deep blush and scandalized expression were an indication, he hadn't noticed the smile at all.

So Gerome carried on with no mercy, staring a hole through the tent. "Clearly, we won't get anywhere if you keep feeling sorry for yourself in here. Morgan would like to know about the tear-filled cloth pile, attempted burning of the gifts, and...the best part will be the short speech about-"

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO EVIL?!"

" _Where was that question when you dragged me around to try and impress some girls?_ " Gerome knew that was a missed opportunity, but he kept that thought locked in his head. Besides, when he peeked at Inigo he knew the time to run would be arriving any second by that point.

Inigo was preparing to jump on him, the dark look over his face translating something like: **I'll drop you into hell myself.** But that was only a theory.

Gerome didn't bother clearing a path, he just scrambled out of the tent.

* * *

Cherche sat down near Morgan, seemingly not bothered by her own appearance. Everyone in the army agreed that Cherche was never seen without a sticking out hair on her head or wrinkle in her clothes, but for some reason she had both of those things today. Also, the dark rings under her eyes were very unbecoming.

It's not like Robin looked any better. He was still smiling despite the rings under his own eyes, and occasional clutching the middle of his back like he suddenly gained an injured spine overnight.

One look at her parents was enough to make Morgan uncomfortably pull her knees close and glance at them nervously. "Did you find the powder Tharja told me to spread around in your tent?"

Cherche shook her head solemnly, and then snapped it back to look at Morgan. "I thought she had Noire to help with her experiments?"

Robin suddenly appeared on the other side of Morgan and sat down on the ground next to her. "We didn't find powder, but we did hear an argument that kept us from sleeping last night."

Morgan was quick to react; her eyes looked like they were about to burst. But they didn't, and instead she somewhat shamefully dropped her gaze to the ground rather than either pair of eyes.

Robin thought he was on a roll, but mainly because he was desperate to return this mess to normal. He pat Morgan's head softly, rambling, "Just last week, you were confident that you might marry Inigo someday. Of course you didn't have to tell the whole army, but you did because the thought of being with him obviously makes you so happy."

Cherche, the light in her eyes showing off how desperate she was, took the chance to wrap her arms around Morgan's shoulders from the side and lean a little closer to her. "It's not easy to endure being close to a man who thinks one look at a woman will make her leap into bed with him, but you're doing a great job so far. Patience is the best trait to have, believe you me."

Robin flashed a somewhat relieved look toward Cherche, suddenly losing control of the topic. "Except in that case, you would have never been born if your mother chose Virion instead."

Cherche lost control of the topic too, practically smirking at Robin in a way that was making Morgan kind of uncomfortable. It was the first time she felt uncomfortable being embraced by her own mother.

By a complete miracle though, Cherche restored the topic and withdrew her arms. "What your father isn't helping to explain is this: I don't think your relationship would work out if neither your or Inigo had patience. What matters the most is that you both stuck together, and through your awkward trials you realized there's more than one side to each other."

"'More than one side to each other'." Morgan suddenly snorted, and leaned her head back with an cringe-inducing snap in her neck. Damn. "That's why we're wrapped up in this predicament in the first place. Inigo is just so over-dramatic about certain topics, and I'm not sure if...this 'patience' can last."

"Did you catch him bathing, or something?" Robin finally blurted out, recalling some of the words from the argument because it was necessary. He didn't have an explanation; it really did come off that way to him.

Morgan kept looking to the sky, thinking maybe they could not see her faint smile. "The strange thing is that Inigo didn't seem like he had the intention to bathe. If you ask me: I think he finally gave in to the urge to skinny dip. Who hasn't been tempted?"

Robin opened his mouth to scold her, and quickly shut it. He nodded...understandingly.

Cherche was the only sane one in the family, or so it might appear. She clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "If you were going to be so bold to skinny dip, why not attempt in the middle of the day? That river is rather close to camp, but...that would make the thrill more intense. The thought of almost getting caught every little crunch of leaves you hear-" Cherche stopped rambling when she noticed her husband and daughter both looking at her like she was so not getting the point.

When some form of sanity returned, it was just in time for a soft breeze to pass over the camp and provide much-needed cooling. This topic had officially gone out of control, and no one knew how to regain it.

The three just remained sitting there on the ground, enjoying the gentle breeze. It truly wasn't often they were given a peaceful moment like this, despite the previous atmosphere being regrettable and generally awful.

What Morgan didn't realize was that Cherche was still fantasizing about going skinny dipping, and Robin was having an inner struggle with himself over whether to acknowledge how perverted his new-found family was or not. At least he didn't do or say anything weird ever.

Before anyone had the chance to speak again, loud noises erupted across the land. The way the poor ground was being crushed inward, it sounded like there was a risen attack in that very moment. But while her parents reacted with shock and drew their weapons just in case, Morgan arose from the ground much more slowly and just stood there folding her arms casually waiting for the dust to clear and show the hooligans.

"WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO ATHLETIC?!"

"I DON'T LET MY BODY WITHER AWAY, SITTING ON MY ASS ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF!"

"OH PLEASE! YOU'RE THE KING OF FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF!"

"WHY DON'T YOU STOP RUNNING?! WE SHOULD BE OUT OF BREATH BY NOW!"

"Is that...Gerome, and Inigo?" Cherche squinted, one hand removed from her axe to shield her eyes from the dirt flying into her face.

No one had time to actually decide who they were, well, at least not until the big dust cloud faded away to reveal Inigo on Gerome's heels reaching out like he was about to kill him. But no one was bothered by it. How could they? Gerome looked like he was actually smiling and having a good time, and Inigo's rage looked so over the top it was hard to take seriously.

Finally, Inigo made his attack. With no warning, he leaped off the ground and at Gerome. His hands only made contact with his shoulder for a split second before they both fell to the ground in an ungraceful heap. The sight of them sprawled on their backs spitting every curse that came to mind somehow made the moment even less intense. It probably had some context to back it up, but Robin and Cherche were honestly too confused to question why this was happening at all.

Gerome was the last to come to and realize what even happened. He didn't know how long he had been on his back, spine getting stabbed with some rocks and spilled gold. He'd been through worse pain in genuine battles before, so this wasn't the worst thing to experience. The one trigger to make him try to open his eyes was hearing Morgan's voice close by asking if they were alright.

Normally, Gerome wouldn't have thought this but...hearing Morgan express true concern was a blessing from the gods. Nothing else in his life would be able to top the joy his heart was about to leap out of his chest and do some flips over.

Because when Gerome opened his eyes and lifted his head to get a good look, he could see Inigo sitting on the ground with Morgan bending to his level and offering a hand.

He could have died with no regrets in that moment. Gerome didn't need to see anything else. Maybe he wouldn't be around to see how the peace would last forever and always and all that BS, but the thought of that sanity thing returning to the world would be appreciated.

It didn't even matter that it looked like Morgan's concern had mostly shifted to Inigo. Gerome wasn't bleeding over a few rocks and some gold, so he remained where he lied until Robin and Cherche rushed over and began to help him up.

Inigo and Morgan were too entangled in their own world entirely. They stared at each other...kind of creepily, actually.

From a distance, Gerome kept trying to stop himself from biting the nails off one set of fingers as he stood on the sidelines with his parents. They were also starting to fall victim to suspense, and Cherche seemed to have a strange need to keep her axe at the ready. You know, in the worst case scenario.

After what really may have been an eternity, Morgan asked the dreaded question: "Are you going to sit there all day?"

Inigo's face cycled through a few emotions rapidly. It all started with a dazed attraction sort of thing, surprise, embarrassment, and by the end he just ignored her hand entirely and bumped heads in the process of rising from the ground. Points for the mood were immediately deducted.

Now that Inigo found his way to his feet, he turned away from Morgan and idly massaged his beaten skull. "D-did you happen to sleep decently last night?"

Morgan rubbed her own skull, too. She gnawed on her lip for a second before inhaling deeply. "I didn't fall asleep until I snorted some of the powder Tharja gave me."

" _Why are you doing this to US?! And YOURSELVES!_ " Gerome felt his hands trembling, forming fists at his sides. Any pain in his back was forgotten, and he couldn't bring himself to respond to Robin's questioning of his condition. There was so much rage building, horrifying enough.

"U-um, why were you chasing Gerome?" Morgan was actually doing something good. It was wonderful. She stared into Inigo's eyes, curious.

Inigo was still a little flustered, he kept dodging her gaze and cracking his neck a few times in the process. "Don't worry about that. It's nothing a beating with a pillow won't solve-"

" **INIGO HAS KEPT EVERY SAPPY NOTE AND USELESS ITEM YOU'VE EVER GIVEN HIM! HE TRIED TO BURN THEM IN A SYMBOLIC RITUAL, BUT HE COULDN'T! THAT'S BECAUSE-** "

Some kind of non-human noise escaped Inigo's mouth, and he whirled to face Gerome. But he couldn't protest. Shockingly, he was frozen in place and unable to find use of his tongue when he saw the way his usually-stoic "companion" was shaking and huffing.

" **BECAUSE, FOR WHATEVER MIND-BOGGLING REASON, HE LOVES YOU! YOU SHOULD BOTH COME TO YOUR SENSES AND REALIZE THAT ONE ARGUMENT WON'T SCREW UP A RELATIONSHIP! THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END, AND YOU TWO NEED TO MOVE ON AND GET BETTER TO SAVE IT!** _ **THEN**_ **YOU CAN WHINE AND CRY ABOUT THIS CRAP!** "

A horrible, physically painful silence fell over the area. If any of the other soldiers were passing through on their way to the food storage or training dummies, they kept their precious distance.

Robin and Cherche disappeared from the scene at around the time Gerome began the second half of his rant. All Gerome knew was that when it all ended and he was hunched over coughing, he only saw their weapons lying on the ground in such a careless manner.

For all the talk of embarrassment in the last NOT EVEN A FULL DAY YET, Gerome felt his own cheeks burn and his heart practically burst. But really, who gives a damn about self-conscious thoughts when you've probably helped an entire army? By screaming a lot? Wow, he needed to go back to bed-

Morgan whipped her head toward Gerome in shock, but ultimately her head returned to looking at the miserable sight in front of her.

Inigo officially looked done with all of this, and for good reason of course. He folded his arms so tight against his chest that it looked like he might bruise himself, and he would not be a man and just look her in the eye. Instead, he seemed more content to act like a completely embarrassed and shamed boy who found a piece of gold on the ground and just had to stare at it.

Morgan sighed, thinking that he really should pick up that gold. She'd totally grab it if he didn't.

In the end, Morgan's hands rested on her hips and she exhaled deeply. "Well, it looks like Gerome will help anyone but his own family. What does that leave me with?"

Gerome angrily snapped his head toward Morgan, prompting her to screech aloud and hug herself very exaggerated.

" **TELL HIM WHAT YOU REALLY THINK! IF YOU CAN WRITE BUNCH OF POINTLESS NOTES, THEN YOU CAN TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL IN PERSON! I REFUSE TO BE THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS ARMY WHO HAS A GRASP ON LOGIC!** "

Now Morgan would rather hang her head like an embarrassed and shamed child, which was very impressive for her. Compared to Inigo, she had a limited range of expressions. It was either a frustratingly-bright smile, or devastated frown.

" **NOW YOU BOTH LISTEN TO ME!** " When neither fool lifted a head or even offered eye contact, Gerome folded his arms and whirled away sharply. "I am going to get some damn breakfast at long last! When I return, I expect to see you two making out in the bushes!" With that, Gerome stormed away.

After a long period of just standing there gawking at the gold on the ground, Morgan finally gave in and reached down. Her hand froze just inches away from Inigo's hand, which seemed to have a mind of its own with greedy intentions. Probably to buy a very strong drink.

They still weren't making eye contact despite bent over with the intention of being some greedy effs. In the end, Morgan curled her fingers around Inigo's.

"Do you want to...talk about what happened somewhere quiet?"

Inigo hesitated for a moment, fighting with himself to keep his voice strong for his reply – "Let's go that arrangement of bushes over there."

* * *

It was just an arrangement of bushes. There was nothing fancy about it, nothing really...scandalous. Some might even say it was barely more private than standing in the middle of camp. But it was **their** getaway, and they had no choice but to live with it.

Morgan went as far as to fall down on her stomach, right in the bed of flowers. Her arms and neck already ached majorly from some of those ridiculous positions she was in before.

Inigo fell down with her, although he wasn't so lucky to land perfectly in the bed of flowers. Actually, his forehead smashed against a rock. Points were taken away from the moment, but he just slapped the rock away and buried his face into his folded arms.

"Why were you chasing Gerome?" It had to be addressed. Morgan reached out to tap Inigo's head and get him to reply.

At first, Inigo just groaned. But he lifted his head just enough to be heard. "He was about to tell you all of that stuff about the ritual, crying, and...anything else I may have said. But when I said all of those things that one time, I was just caught up in-"

"You want my honest opinion?" Morgan blurted, thankfully. When Inigo turned to face her, she stroked his hair softly. "This might be the result of reading too many romance books, but I think you're sweet for saving all of that. I mean, I could have given you something bold like my underwear so...how was I to know you'd value some paper and discount items?"

"It's...not like that..." Inigo choked for no reason, hurrying to bury his face back into his arms. "He told you, anyway. We can drop this subject, and never dig it up from this campsite for as long as we live."

"Aw, are you seriously going to sweep it away like that? You're too sweet for your own good; my teeth are rotting out so much from talking about it!"

"You're all out to kill me, aren't you?! I'm going to be burnt beyond repair if you keep saying that!"

Morgan withdrew her hand from his head, and she crawled closer to him and pressed a quick kiss to his ear. It was a very small gesture, but she hoped that would coax him to show his face again.

Yeah, that didn't work at all. His ear did radiate with heat afterward, but that was the only change.

Gerome's words of how she needed to tell Inigo how she felt repeated inside Morgan's head. Did she want to grow up and have a mature conversation with her boyfriend? Hell no. If rolling around in the bed of flowers making out would help then she totally would have done that. It always seemed to help before this whole thing.

That was it...

It did always help before...

Even during the times Morgan got a little carried away when she saw him chatting up some random girls, and she point blank asked if he'd ever have the decency to marry her before getting too close to the others...

Hot kisses all through the night, trying to be quiet because oh damn they just realized Chrom and Olivia's tent was pitched close to theirs...

Realization flooded into Morgan's mind. Suddenly, she regained her energy and gave no warning before shoving her hands underneath Inigo's chest and rolling him over onto his back. Don't even ask her how that happened, because she didn't even know. One minute Inigo was face down in despair, and the next he was on his back shocked and actually kind of pleased when Morgan pinned his arms down on either side of him.

Now that Inigo was forced to look up at her, through something of a mindless and enchanted haze, Morgan relaxed and lowered herself to the point their bodies touched. Ugh, that would have been the best time to make out. Honestly, Morgan was feeling the temptation so bad.

Morgan decided to distract herself by looking into his eyes dramatically. "I wish you could believe how much I like the fact you don't want to cut me out of your life, Inigo. I don't know what it'll take, but I'm not going to rest until things go back to the way they were! Or at least...things can go back to the way they were WITH the added bonus of you accepting that yes I did see you naked last night, but I think we should both be old enough to handle some nudity."

Inigo was surprised he didn't melt into a puddle right then. That would have been a fitting end, wouldn't it? He closed his eyes, briefly cringed so much as the flashback overcame him. When he had gone out to the river with the intention of taking a swim in the nude just...to challenge himself, really. There was no deeper reason. He was always so paranoid and traveled so far away from camp just to bathe plenty of times before, but he thought it would have felt empowering to be able to overcome the fear of getting caught like this.

And then Morgan appeared with a big net, probably to catch some fish. She never had time to explain what she was even doing there when she discovered him. Of course, she hadn't exactly made an effort to take her eyes off him even when he very belatedly noticed her.

Out of the blue, Morgan suddenly moved a hand to one of his eyes and held it open so he'd have to look again. Smoke seemed to exit her nostrils with now much they were flaring.

"If we're comfortable around each other to the point we can kiss in ways man wasn't made to, why can't we see each other naked? If you ask me, I'll even take off my clothes right now. Will that make us even? I just don't understand where you're coming from!"

Inigo had to pause for a moment, opening his other eye and glancing toward her chest location for a moment. He did believe Morgan was close to actually stripping, especially when she began to to slide her arms out of the cloak sleeves.

* * *

"I found our weapons." Robin nonchalantly mentioned, grabbing the axe and spell tome.

"Uh huh."

Robin's arms fell back to his sides. "Weren't you ranting two weeks ago about how you wouldn't have bought this new axe at all if the old hadn't gotten stuck in that foreign soldier's-"

"Robin, be quiet for a moment." Cherche whipped her head toward Robin's direction, and held her finger to her lips in a rather curious fashion. "It sounds like Gerome did it. But...there's a price to accomplishments."

Robin walked over at that point, straining his ear in the direction of the small cluster of bushes Cherche was pointing to with the other hand. Suddenly, he felt what she did. There was a certain...displeasure rising in him that he couldn't name, but he really wanted to burst in and kill the mood.

"See, I have one of the smallest breast sizes out of all the girls here. Am I bothered by that? Well, I used to be sometimes until I started dating you. I thought...you know, you've never seen a girl naked so you might think this is normal."

"Don't start telling me you actually think I wouldn't want to be **with** you...in...um..."

"No, no, no! You were actually falling for that bait I just gave you! You were doing so well."

"Wait, you actually don't care about your breasts? Then why aren't you putting your shirt back on?!"

"I dunno. Well, I guess the wind is kind of nice-"

"Morgan, if you aren't actually ashamed of your body then that makes your argument pointless. And if I keep looking, I might..."

"Kiss me?"

"That's all you want from me, isn't it?! I think I have more to offer than some chapped lips, you know!"

"Hmm. Well, last night-"

"Was there something wrong with me?! If you found anything offensive about my body, I'll go through dark magic to change it! Tharja has some experience in increasing or decreasing body parts, I bet!"

"Oh Inigo, I like you the way you are. I've never seen another guy naked...so I'll just believe you represent the entire population! It'll be great!"

"S-so what you're saying is- Oh...!" The sound of a hand slapping something echoed. "I overreacted, causing you to overreact? Because I didn't mean anything I said about you last night. I just want to take everything one step at a time so I don't destroy this only relationship I have!"

"You still have me, Inigo. And I said some bad things about you, but I didn't mean them either. Actually, I don't care how hopelessly flirty you are. It only makes it more fun to wind up on top of you."

"If that's the case, I GUESS I can try to get over the embarrassment."

"That's the spirit! As for me; I'll NOT stop thinking about what I saw in really inappropriate situations no matter how hard I try."

"Morgan..."

"Ah! Um! What's with that tone?"

"My lips have been available for the longest time. You should know I'm always in the mood for-"

The exchange stopped so suddenly when words became drawn out moans. Nothing too intense, mind you. But it was enough for Robin and Cherche to lose all color in their faces and slam their palms to their ears. It was easy to run away, pretending they hadn't heard anything.

* * *

With a belly full of some extremely cold soup, Gerome felt like he had a little more energy now. At least enough to check on those two fools. He was confused upon his return because it looked like Robin and Cherche's weapons were picked up. That was good...because he still cringed at the thought of having to see either one of them again, and the fact they knew he could yell...ugh. If only the day could start all the way over.

Would he have done things any different if he could, however? Well, he didn't hear any arguing OR making out at the moment so the results seemed neutral more than anything. What if they didn't mend their relationship? Would he have to deal with Morgan invading his tent in the morning desperate for some brotherly affection, or would Inigo drown himself in tears?

Gerome looked over every inch of the area.

Then he peeked behind the cluster of bushes.

Suddenly, the soup was trying to shoot back up his throat. Gerome managed to not vomit right then and there, but it was still extremely shocking and horrible. The sight, of course.

Well, he did tell them to make out. Perhaps he had himself to blame more than the two fools; they were only following orders. Well, orders AND their general unresolved sexual tension. But the sight of the two of them lying in a bed of crushed flowers was definitely uncalled for.

Inigo was still fully clothed. Thank the gods. If he woke up to realize he'd taken something off, this entire subject in the first place might go in a full circle and begin all ever again. He had Morgan's cloak loosely spread over him and vaguely actually protecting him from the lowering temperature. He was snuggled against Morgan's side, legs seemingly tangled with hers.

None of this would have been so bad if not for the fact that Morgan was on her back, sound asleep too with one hand resting behind the back of her head and her other hand just barely holding her removed shirt over her chest.

" _Maybe those two haven't slept enough. I could have sworn Inigo should have gotten enough earlier, but maybe you need more energy to be this overly-emotional._ "

Gerome inhaled deeply, and shut his eyes. Did he really want to scream at them for leaving these kinds of implications? By the look of things, Inigo wouldn't have removed even a boot in public. Morgan was just Morgan; there was no reason behind anything she did. He hoped that Cherche would teach her some sense of modesty, however.

Gerome crouched to their level, but he kept a small distance as he roughly smacked Morgan's cheek with some fingers. He kept doing so, at least until the touch seemed to register and she was groaning softly and stirring from her slumber.

Morgan lifted her head from the ground, probably in a daze. She looked to the left at the bushes, and right to Inigo's sleeping form. Then she dropped her head and looked at Gerome's face upside down.

"I got some action, if that's what you're about to ask." By the end of that cheery comment, Morgan couldn't resist shocking Gerome further by winking about it. But she soon sat up and retrieved her cloak and began slipping it on quickly. "...I think we're going to continue it later, though. We both fell asleep when we realized how comfortable this bed of flowers and the soft breeze was."

"It couldn't have been a fun time if you fell asleep so soon."

Morgan, now at least covered up by the cloak held tight around her body, turned to give Gerome a pout. This particular point was definitely forced because despite her lips shoved outward, there was still a spark in her eye to let him know that she at least got something out of Inigo's company. Who would have thought that was even possible?

Annoyed and disturbed as he was, Gerome still moved his arm up to his mouth to hide an attempted smirk. "Make sure you arrive for dinner on time. If you two aren't there at the same time, people might assume you killed each other."

All Morgan could do was roll her eyes at such uncalled for language. But she couldn't resist beaming, and turning to Inigo to try and stir him from his sleep too.

* * *

The stars twinkled brightly overhead, but the majority of light couldn't break through to the Shepherds' current camp. Beneath the trees, it was dark in an exciting way. Everyone else had already gone to sleep by that point, so there wasn't a chance of being caught enjoying the world for once. Just forget about the end of the world long enough to appreciate who's going to be at your side fighting with all their strength until the enemy is just bloodstains on the ground.

Inigo ran somewhat behind Morgan throughout this darkness, unable to fully match her pace. But she had a hand gripping his wrist so tight that if he were to fall, they'd both wind up with broken arms in a very elaborate style.

In what seemed to be a blur, the reunited couple arrived at the river. It was still dark, but it was also intimately quiet. Not even the leaves constantly falling off the tree from the evening breeze could make some noise in the water. It was so peaceful, so inspiring.

Morgan was definitely inspired. She released her hold on Inigo's throbbing wrist, and before he had the chance to rub off all his suffering she walked into his arms and caught his lips with her own.

The whole point of coming to the river wasn't even to make out fully clothed. So admittedly, Inigo was disappointed he couldn't rip off his clothes and prove to her that he did have some confidence in himself. Never mind that a normal person wouldn't have to prove this kind of thing to their lover, but, that's a minor detail you should never bring up again.

All disappointment was forgotten and thrown away into the distance when his brain began registering Morgan's lips, and her hands roaming all across his chest and shoulders. There was something naughty about it, but he couldn't find the word to explain it. If the word came to him later, he'd probably acknowledge it.

For now, every stressful thought was locked into submission in Inigo's mind. He was very content to be spontaneous like her. Just give in to what kind of vibes this intimate setting was giving off. Kiss her back, much more carefully and work his hands around her arms and up to her cloak.

Morgan didn't miss a beat, shockingly, and she quickly squirmed her way out of the cloak. It fell to the ground, and soon her boots were tossed behind her by the water's edge and even her shirt seemed to have gotten caught in a branch nearby. In her mind, nothing of value was lost.

Since Morgan could be so comfortable with the idea, Inigo decided to clear his head of all logical thought. But when that was over, then he truly reached her level. He pulled back from her torso long enough to take off some of the annoying clothing getting in the way. Morgan grinning like a loon helped give him some motivation.

Blindly rushing into this in a excitement, Inigo began this challenging process by kicking off his boots. He briefly closed his eyes, waiting for a big explosion to kill everyone. But in that one moment of uncertainty, he felt two hands grasp the bottom of his shirt and helpfully lift it high.

The sudden assistance did trigger a little nervousness in him, but Inigo held his breath. He refused to protest when his mind and body were both "YES ALL THE WAY" when it came to the idea of spending an attempted intimate evening with her. Just her. He knew he wouldn't make it this far with anyone else without fainting and getting a cold from being on the ground near the water all night.

Inigo decided to go with the flow, and helped with some stray pieces of armor as she concentrated on lifting his shirt up. Also, Morgan totally stared at his torso more than he did help remove the shirt...but it was the thought that counted. She was trying her best.

* * *

"I thought you wanted to go skinny dipping alone?"

"I did. But then I heard about how Morgan restored her relationship, and I thought about ours for a moment..."

"Come on Cherche, I don't think we need to make more of an effort in our relationship. I do the best I can to groom Minerva when you get hand or arm injuries."

"You do a fine job with that task, don't worry. What I'm trying to say is that...I look at how much the sexual tension has affected some of the newer couples. It's a ridiculous thing to notice during a war, I know. But...that's why I want to make our nights together count."

Cherche's causal, not-giving-away-anything smile suddenly faltered. Her face was still unreadable, but the the frown on her lips was trying to say something to help out. She turned away from Robin, overlooking the sparkling water nearby.

Robin recovered from gawking for no reason, and with his mind now restored a big and silly smile took up residence on his face.

"Well," Cherche cleared her throat into her hand softly. "Now that I've forced you to follow me to this river, we might as well take advantage of the situation. The moon is trying to cast its glow on us, the breeze is soft but not too cold, and I'm certain no one else will be awake at this hour to interrupt."

"Isn't Cordelia on a patrol overhead-"

"Robin, kiss me like you did after finding out we'll have children someday."

Well, with such a commanding tone it was difficult to back down. Robin gave in as he'd done before, walking right into Cherche's arms. But he didn't kiss her right away, however.

Cherche shuddered in a rather good way when Robin's lips grazed her cheek and moved to her ear. There was only one thing he had to say before he, again, couldn't resist and grinned uncontrollably.

"We should move this to the river first."

* * *

Before Gerome could even make it back to the tent, Chrom suddenly appeared with scary good timing. Gerome had no choice but to acknowledge their leader's existence, but he was well aware that he shared the same level of fatigue he did.

It was a little too late to be getting too personal with people, but Chrom approached this stoic guy with no fear and flashed a smile his way. It may have been unfortunately generic, but his only words during the smile were: "Thank you for restoring everyone's sanity."

Robin and Chrom were close enough to exchange words about their future sons, so Gerome couldn't help trying to shrink into the darkness awkwardly. He didn't want to think of how much wrong information Robin may have given him before. He could say that he did have a heart, but there was an ice wall to smash through with the right words first. Just NO.

"To be honest: I was thinking of myself during the chaos. If I helped anyone else, then so it shall be. I don't want to have to experience something like this again." Gerome looked right into Chrom's eyes as he spoke, and if he could be so daring...he thought his firm tone was more than convincing.

Too bad Chrom looked him right in the eyes slash where he expected his eyes would obviously be, the smile on his face becoming somewhat amused like he was in on a big secret.

Gerome recoiled from the powerful vibes coming off him. "You have to deal with Inigo more than anyone, don't you? Morgan is extreme enough, but after today I think Inigo outdid himself with that horrible display in his tent!"

"Despite how you negative you feel, if you hadn't talked them down they probably would have extended their separation for weeks. I can't even imagine what it would be like trying to make them cooperate in combat."

"Maybe subconsciously...they would still jump into danger for each other. Even if they traded childish pouts to ruin a heartwarming situation."

"I've seen that happen so many times even before you future kids arrived." Sparkles practically jumped around Chrom's head as he turned away, barely hiding a rather pleasant smile from nostalgia.

Gerome felt himself flush deeply, and he was about to just rush past him and take refuge in his tent. **What was he trying to imply**? So, it wasn't as though Gerome couldn't admit at that point Robin must have filled his head with thoughts that he actually cared and noticed some of the more...ugh...tender relationships around here of every category.

Luckily, this horrid conversation didn't continue. But there's always some kind of dark undertones to luck, depending on how you view the world. Anyhow, the peaceful silence of the night was quickly broken by a loud screech. Gerome's first thought was that someone finally learned how to mimic Minerva's speech, but no...it was...

" **MORGAN?! INIGO?!** " There was no mistake that was Robin's scream.

" **WHAT ARE YOUR PARENTS DOING HERE?! PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISN'T AN ELABORATE PRANK!** " Mmm hmm. That ear-bleeding scream was Inigo, no doubt.

" **HEAR ME OUT! THIS IS A COMPLETE CONCIDENCE!** " Morgan was pulling out the intellectual approach to a large assault on the ears.

" **EVERYONE, BE QUIET! WHAT WILL YOU DO IF THE WHOLE ARMY HEARS?!** " Cherche screaming was...hard to believe for a moment.

Gerome slammed his palms to cover his ears, and he looked over to Chrom.

Distressed as Chrom was, he had the decency to put on a brave face as he walked up to their new-found peacemaker and pat him on the back to send him some support. Support from a distance, of course. You better believe he wasn't going to get involved in that crap.

"I don't want to make a habit out of this." Gerome pretty much growled his whole statement, finished having any kind of restraint.

Chrom kept the brave face on even as he turned and strolled back to his tent. "When this blows over tomorrow, I'll personally help Frederick in packing up the whole camp. We need to be as far from that river as possible."

" **THAT'S IT! WE CAN'T GET MARRIED NOW, I'M SORRY-** "

" _ **WHAT**_ **?! HOW IS THIS GOING TO EFFECT-** "

" **YOUR PARENTS KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE UNDER THE CLOTHES! HOW CAN I FACE THEM AND SAY 'HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME WE ALL WENT SKINNY DIPPING IN THE RIVER TOGETHER'?! THIS WILL ONLY MAKE IT AWKWARD AT A WEDDING!** "

" **FATHER! MOTHER! TELL INIGO HE'S BEING TOO NARROW-MINDED!** "

"Does...does being narrow-minded even apply-"

"Robin! Forget about that, and scold our daughter for sneaking around and pressuring her boyfriend to do things he's hesitant about!"

" **MOTHER! HOW COULD YOU TAKE INIGO'S SIDE?!** "

"Hey from where I'm sitting, it seems like you might as well take Inigo's side! He's the only one bothering to provide some modesty!" There was a sudden beat. "Alright, I know that sounds hypocritical! Let's all calm down, and focus on what really matters!"

" **I'LL FOCUS! GEROME! GEROME! COME OVER TO THE RIVER AND TELL INIGO WE'LL ALL FORGET ABOUT THIS IN, OH, THREE DAYS FROM NOW!** "

* * *

 _ **Fin**_

* * *

Thank God that's over! *Nervous, forced laughter*I mean, it would be ridiculous if I had the audacity to give in to audacity and write some form of continuation! A...sequel or...or even another Fire Emblem parody with a similar plot would be madness! *Continues to laugh as I shrink into oblivion*

 **Seriously, I'm not continuing this. Nope. Can't make me. I think the world's only big enough for this one separate story. :|**

When all is said and done, I honestly can't wrap my brain around why you would want to continue this. For a parody, I don't really hate it. But I personally exhausted myself, not wanting it to be too short and so I had to keep racking my brain trying to think of how to extend it. Get in the head of a writer for a live action or cartoon writer and extend plots that don't really need extensions.

Anyhow, thank you for bothering to listen to me babble like yet another fool. I'd say thanks for reading my story, but I'm kind of embarrassed...

The Chosen Storyteller is signing out now~ He doesn't even have a crap moral to offer, he just wants to tell you GOODBYE and SEE YOU AGAIN IN ANOTHER ONE OF MY STORIES~


End file.
